WHOA!
First post in how many months!!! And it's not about any lay out change! whew, this must mean something...
Anyway, I dunno what the heck this post is about despite my efforts of sounding cool and trying to come up with a decent intro to my post. Hmm... how unprofessional... Now where'd I start? oh yeah... well right now I've never been so depressed in my whole life. Last night I was so deep in thought that there came to a point that I thought that I was worthless and let alone meaningless. It was some kind of emotional triptych that losers go in to when they channel their self-pity into anger directed at themselves. Hmph! What am I saying anyway? It's as if I don't have the luxury of somebody to run into. It's as if I were some kinda freak who blames it on to somebody or something whenever things don't go my way. It's as if I've tried hard enough. Hahaha, of course, after all I am who I am...
hmm... Lame.... Who am I anyway? I'm confused, or should I say, I want to be confused? I dunno. Who really is the real Me? the one who I think I am or the one others think of me? whatever it is, It's lame. Why? Maybe I'm too dependent on others often I need somebody to tell me how it is when I already knew the answer all along. Maybe because I was born stupid and couldn't do anything right? I dunno. Anyway this depressing thing really tires me. I'd rather think about it alone than to publish it on a lame blog that talks about nothing but layout changes. Why did I post this shit anyway? I dunno... 'cause maybe, just maybe in the back of my mind I thought this was a good thing to post.
hmph... lame...
posted by Radius @ 1:38 PM
1 Comments:
I hate to hear or know that someone's depressed. I've been depressed and sometimes it pays me a bloody visit (anytime). I wonder when will it leave me for eternity. When that happens, I feel bloody because I know my defenses are down and I am prone to whatever negative energy surrounding.
As for what you said... wrote rather... Don't look down on yourself. Okay, you may say "Better said than done." but hades, it's true. Should you see yourself the way you do or the way other do... why don't you do both?
Knowing yourself even without other people's comment is really good. It means you know yourself enough and you're paying attention to yourself. But you also have to reckon other people because what they see is a result of your actions. They see you that way because you're doing things that way. If you don't want them to keep seeing you that way, it's time for a little change.
Whenever I get depressed, I force myself to do the things that usually make me happy. And I force myself to be with the Lord. I don't say much or anything, I just remain silent thinking he's sitting beside me. It doesn't matter to me if He speaks or not. I just wait on Him.
Don't look down on yourself or on your birth because there are people who look up to you. Don't be such a skeptic (look who's talking =p ). Besides, God loves you. Yeah, sounds banal but true. And I thank God for having a friend like you. You're a blessing, kuya!
When everything is lost and seems out of reach, I just hold on to God's love. His love is better than life.
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